Winds of change …..

I’m not going to explain myself against the lies told about me and my family  I don’t need to, I know the truth.

I’m not going to explain my parenting or apologize for being able to communicate well with children.  It’s inbuilt, it’s who I am, it’s my job.

Any part of my life that has been sullied and dirtied online by others is not my issue, it is theirs.

There are a few things I’ve done that I wish I hadn’t.  None of which were done with any intent to cause hurt to others and for any of those, I apologize.  Everyone is fighting their own battle after all, I hope I haven’t added burden to any of yours.

Exactly 2 years ago … there were 4 of us chatting regularly, Lav, Jones, Kate and Me.

I have nothing to say about Jones, I think it has all been said before.  For me, it is gone, buried, over.

I always thought Lav was a bit of a dick in the beginning, took a while to see the man beneath the manner.  It’s fair to say I only stopped thinking he was a dick about a year ago.  Three things have made me warm to him, his adoration of his family, the fact that he has kept any personal details about me to himself and lastly, that he is just himself and if you don’t like it, he genuinely couldn’t give a fuck!

I would go through all the crap again to have found a friend like Kate, I am blessed to have found her and to have kept her in my life, she is warm, thoughtful, kind, funny and genuine and I hope I know her forever.  Kate has followed this sorry tale from start to end and as no longer on social networking sites, I offered to let her have her say here …

Blessed Be x

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This little fella is an innocent child.

We all started like him and most of us have them now.
Decisions made by parents affect us all.
Mainly among the group…death(which is not a decision),alcohol,bad parenting…leading to abusive childhoods and even ending up in care.

So when as parents now,after a shit childhood you strive to do the oppisite and be the best…where are we at?

Know nothing of Chris Spiveys past but have seen proof of his parenting.His protection of his grandchild.Fighting the exact corrupt services like the Police and Social Services .
He has an online issue with someone who previously had befriended and bang.
A blog full of comments geared towards his kids,parenting and vile derision of him asking for the public to come together and safeguard his daughter and grandson.
Massive respect from me.The man is using his online presence to walk the talk.

Madamemooch, slagged off for letting her daughter skype in the bath. A passing tweet made sinister.Comments made On a blog of someone she befriended.Met,supported.
Imagine being a teen and having a best friend,a friend you shared everything with.Thoughts,pain,laughter,you get the drift.Imagine growing up in no danger,no harm and being confortable with your body.
No shame……
Im over the moon that this young woman is free to chat wherever she wants with her friend…bath or not.Amazing daughter of an amazing and balanced woman with great tits!!!
So Jennie,whilst I am aware of your past,its pretty low to project your triggers or disgust onto someone else.
That was your best shot against madamemooch?
Still bringing it up on blog comments,yet justifying your actions by saying its your time of the month?
Fuck off.
Darren Laverty,another parent.
Now may I make it clear I do not know him personally.Never spoken to him.
Tweets and email only.
Darren shows what he needs and wants to.
I understand that.
Said from day one he could be brutal,bit of a cunt to be honest, but learned behind the man there was a family.Days out,time spent together, all proof shown.
So his online presence is down to him.Thats not my concern.
His kids however,and wife have been attacked.Comments on a blog.A blog of someone he befriended.
Anyone see the pattern here?
Another wife and children dragged in by others to get at him.He has every right to defend them.Id have put you in a shallow grave if it was my family.
Police involved.
One thing I will say is he has had my details and name.
Has it ever been outed on the web?
No.
I will meet him soon and trust my instinct on what or who he really is

Can I say the same about the comments on the same blog that I have previously mentioned?
No.
Called a compo chaser yet had not discussed my personal circumstances with Jane.??

Outlaw…jj.
The blog owner that moderates comments.
Allows this to continue.
Jane fucking Russell who has a hand up his arse spewing her bile about anyone she can.
And he allows it.
So heres another 3 kids being attacked…jj words.
Threat of fire,name calling at school.
No proof posted.JJ,s word only.
Which can I make clear Im not saying is a lie.But if we have to believe your word with no proof why is it ok for others to comment on your blog about”no proof”?
A distressed wife and may I say,a great Mother. Kids upset while daddy in the nick or the hospital.
Listening to conversations.
A wife who has been dragged into this and made a choice to stay involved.
As one mother to another Helen,I hope you hear me.
I hope you realise that this has all came to your door because of blogs and twitter.
Something that can be closed in a second.
It has came to your door because your husband chooses to let the fire be poked and stoked by his “friend” jane.
I walked away from my friendship with jj and helen for my reasons and I will make it clear I want no harm to come to any of them.
But as they know,and have spoken to me i call a spade a spade and if your being a fud I will call you on it.
Thats my strength.It drives me to keep shit from my door or my children.
Press the button and enjoy your family.
Lastly, Jane Russell.(she does exist)
You have no kids.
So why the fuck under a guise of a friend thats so concerned about jj and his family do you continue to spew venom from your mouth about everyone else? Bringing shit to the door and watching jj’s wife be accused of saying the words from your mouth.
You are a cunt.
Nothing more to say.
Fuck off

You all have my number,email..if you have issue with my honesty.
Could have said so much more..included others but my time is precious…for that angel at the top of the page.

I wont be reading fuck all again.
Hope you all do the same.
Kate
MFO

One massive positive to come from all this is a lifetime friendship with a beautiful soul
Love you Mooch
Xx

Always Look Up

There are many childhood memories that contribute to this piece of writing. Funny things, childhood memories…..

My earliest is from around 2 years of age. I was sat in a rugby club changing room, watching a group of naked men getting in the biggest bath id ever seen, together. But that’s another story….

I have a little motto “Always Look Up” which stems from my other most vivid childhood memories ..

Lying on my back in the long grass, cloud watching.
Sitting in trees, wildlife watching.
My dad making me climb mountains and hills.
Standing at my window at night with my mum, star-gazing, waiting to spot a shooting one to wish on before bed.
Full moon gazing alone for hours, giving my instinct room to be heard
Being repeatedly told by my Nanna to “walk tall and hold your head up high girl”

If you spend your time looking at the ground, you see very little.
When we see little, we don’t connect.
When we don’t connect, we lose all hope.

If you look up you see birds in flight. That reminds you that your soul is ultimately free.
If you look up you see clouds passing by in the wind. That reminds you that things are always passing, nothing stays the same.
If you look up you see stars shining. That reminds you that you too must shine bright, which in turn allows others to do the same. We are all capable of shining.
If you look up you see the trees that grew from a tiny seeds. That reminds you that strength is in you from the start of your journey and just grows stronger from the attack of the winds and the rain.
If you look up you see the Moon. She reminds us that we are all just a tiny speck of dust in comparison to the universe around us and from that perspective is learnt.

If you look up, you see what is around you. The people who love you, the animals that comfort you, the nature that sustains you and the sun that shines on you.

And if you properly see all of that on a regular basis. That is when you realise you are blessed

Blessed Be x

Swan Song

I have been watching the swans a lot on recent dog walks; we have an old, established pair living on the stretch of river by me. Mr Swan has got himself in a bit of a twist of late, over an outsider swan that has recently appeared. Most of his days, it seems, are spent chasing the unwanted swan out and away from his home, his partner, his patch. I have seen many animals prove that loyalty and stamina are natural qualities but none quite so much as the Swan. These magnificent creatures are a sight to behold when they are being threatened, they can raise themselves up almost to the height of a man, they have no fear of coming right at you, hissing, huge wings flapping, to warn any potential predator that they will fight to the death ……. And they will.

Swans have amazed me ever since I worked as an RSPCA Ambulance Driver in the 90’s. A swan job soon became my favourite callout to attend, especially as it usually involved speedboats and an adrenaline dose of sheer danger! My one and only RSPCA Commendation came from taking part in a swan rescue in the Midlands. The birds had landed right in the middle of a lake with no water on it, just thick, sticky mud. They had tried to free themselves but had become weighted down with the mud and were stranded, exhausted, with no hope of getting to the banks. Being the only “girl” on the callout and therefore smaller and lighter than my male colleagues, guess who got roped up and sent out onto the lake to bring the birds back in! The rescue was a success and the swans were taken to a rescue centre to recover from their ordeal. I will never forget the feeling it gave me on the drive home that evening. Driving a transit van back up the M6 covered from head to foot in mud sure got me some very strange looks from other motorists but I was on top of the world, I felt alive, like something inside my heart was singing … It brought to mind the myth of the Swan Song.

The ancient belief was that the mute swan (Cygnus olor, to give it its Latin name) would be completely silent throughout its life and then in its final moments before death it would sing one beautiful song. We now know that not to be true, they do not sing at all, at any time in their life. Their voice may be silent, but their life is the song. They are a symbol of love and loyalty; they represent Grace, Balance, Union, Purity, Self-Transformation and Togetherness. They move as if suspended above the water, effortless and smooth. They stand up and fight for their right to life.

“The Silverswan, who living had no note,
When death approached,
Unlocked her silent throat.
Leaning her breast against the reedy shore,
Thus sang her first and last, and sang no more:
“Farewell, all joys! O Death, come close mine eyes!
More Geese than Swans now live,
More fools than wise.”
– Orlando Gibbons

I wonder …… what is your swan song?

Blessed Be x

Feminist or Daughter of the Divine Feminine?

I have been called many things in my time. Some are just funny … being called a Tree Hugger on the basis that I’m ‘in to’ Nature (don’t tell them but I do actually, physically hug trees!!) Some not so funny, delivered from hurt, anger or haste or even truth. Some are labels that I have been handed, just as we all get given from time to time. There are times in the past where these may have cut like a knife, been taken on board by my mind and dwelled on, dissected and analysed. Now they just interest and amuse me and I rejoice in being called a ‘Trouble Maker’ as it is only ever used when I simply stand up for what I believe to be true. 

I have often been called a feminist, that’s not an insult, it’s a label but it doesn’t quite fit for me. I am a Daughter of the Divine Feminine. The Divine Feminine is the true state of every woman on this planet, the natural wild woman within;

“Within every woman, there lives a wild woman, filled with passionate creativity and ageless knowing – but repressed for centuries by a value system that trivializes emotional truth, intuitive wisdom and instinctual self-confidence” *

Men and woman are never going to be ‘equal’, how can we be when we are so different? I am not fighting for ‘equality’ with men in this world as we know it. I am fighting to not have the Divine Feminine snatched from my soul by a patriarchal world.

If we buy into this culture we have been presented with, this unreality we are being shown, then we lose the woman within. To know her is to live simply, be with nature, to listen to yourself, to avoid what mainstream media is telling you a woman should be. How could they possibly know? Only a woman knows how to be the woman she is and the only place she will find that is by getting in touch with the wild woman within herself.. Not, from a copy of She of Marie Clare (other magazines are available)!

We as women have been divided from one another, we are fighting among ourselves in so many areas of life, and we have lost our natural way, our combined force and our true state of being.
If every single woman on the planet united together in consciousness of the true divine feminine … that combined force could actually heal this world.
Oh what a wonderful world that will be.

Blessed Be, fellow sisters, one and all xx

 

* Women who run with the wolves – Clarissa Pinkola Estes. A lexicon for the female psyche that every woman should read. I know it to be true for I dreamt of the Wolves long before the book found me. This book just confirms what every woman already knows deep within herself.