Always Look Up

There are many childhood memories that contribute to this piece of writing. Funny things, childhood memories…..

My earliest is from around 2 years of age. I was sat in a rugby club changing room, watching a group of naked men getting in the biggest bath id ever seen, together. But that’s another story….

I have a little motto “Always Look Up” which stems from my other most vivid childhood memories ..

Lying on my back in the long grass, cloud watching.
Sitting in trees, wildlife watching.
My dad making me climb mountains and hills.
Standing at my window at night with my mum, star-gazing, waiting to spot a shooting one to wish on before bed.
Full moon gazing alone for hours, giving my instinct room to be heard
Being repeatedly told by my Nanna to “walk tall and hold your head up high girl”

If you spend your time looking at the ground, you see very little.
When we see little, we don’t connect.
When we don’t connect, we lose all hope.

If you look up you see birds in flight. That reminds you that your soul is ultimately free.
If you look up you see clouds passing by in the wind. That reminds you that things are always passing, nothing stays the same.
If you look up you see stars shining. That reminds you that you too must shine bright, which in turn allows others to do the same. We are all capable of shining.
If you look up you see the trees that grew from a tiny seeds. That reminds you that strength is in you from the start of your journey and just grows stronger from the attack of the winds and the rain.
If you look up you see the Moon. She reminds us that we are all just a tiny speck of dust in comparison to the universe around us and from that perspective is learnt.

If you look up, you see what is around you. The people who love you, the animals that comfort you, the nature that sustains you and the sun that shines on you.

And if you properly see all of that on a regular basis. That is when you realise you are blessed

Blessed Be x

Swan Song

I have been watching the swans a lot on recent dog walks; we have an old, established pair living on the stretch of river by me. Mr Swan has got himself in a bit of a twist of late, over an outsider swan that has recently appeared. Most of his days, it seems, are spent chasing the unwanted swan out and away from his home, his partner, his patch. I have seen many animals prove that loyalty and stamina are natural qualities but none quite so much as the Swan. These magnificent creatures are a sight to behold when they are being threatened, they can raise themselves up almost to the height of a man, they have no fear of coming right at you, hissing, huge wings flapping, to warn any potential predator that they will fight to the death ……. And they will.

Swans have amazed me ever since I worked as an RSPCA Ambulance Driver in the 90’s. A swan job soon became my favourite callout to attend, especially as it usually involved speedboats and an adrenaline dose of sheer danger! My one and only RSPCA Commendation came from taking part in a swan rescue in the Midlands. The birds had landed right in the middle of a lake with no water on it, just thick, sticky mud. They had tried to free themselves but had become weighted down with the mud and were stranded, exhausted, with no hope of getting to the banks. Being the only “girl” on the callout and therefore smaller and lighter than my male colleagues, guess who got roped up and sent out onto the lake to bring the birds back in! The rescue was a success and the swans were taken to a rescue centre to recover from their ordeal. I will never forget the feeling it gave me on the drive home that evening. Driving a transit van back up the M6 covered from head to foot in mud sure got me some very strange looks from other motorists but I was on top of the world, I felt alive, like something inside my heart was singing … It brought to mind the myth of the Swan Song.

The ancient belief was that the mute swan (Cygnus olor, to give it its Latin name) would be completely silent throughout its life and then in its final moments before death it would sing one beautiful song. We now know that not to be true, they do not sing at all, at any time in their life. Their voice may be silent, but their life is the song. They are a symbol of love and loyalty; they represent Grace, Balance, Union, Purity, Self-Transformation and Togetherness. They move as if suspended above the water, effortless and smooth. They stand up and fight for their right to life.

“The Silverswan, who living had no note,
When death approached,
Unlocked her silent throat.
Leaning her breast against the reedy shore,
Thus sang her first and last, and sang no more:
“Farewell, all joys! O Death, come close mine eyes!
More Geese than Swans now live,
More fools than wise.”
– Orlando Gibbons

I wonder …… what is your swan song?

Blessed Be x

Feminist or Daughter of the Divine Feminine?

I have been called many things in my time. Some are just funny … being called a Tree Hugger on the basis that I’m ‘in to’ Nature (don’t tell them but I do actually, physically hug trees!!) Some not so funny, delivered from hurt, anger or haste or even truth. Some are labels that I have been handed, just as we all get given from time to time. There are times in the past where these may have cut like a knife, been taken on board by my mind and dwelled on, dissected and analysed. Now they just interest and amuse me and I rejoice in being called a ‘Trouble Maker’ as it is only ever used when I simply stand up for what I believe to be true. 

I have often been called a feminist, that’s not an insult, it’s a label but it doesn’t quite fit for me. I am a Daughter of the Divine Feminine. The Divine Feminine is the true state of every woman on this planet, the natural wild woman within;

“Within every woman, there lives a wild woman, filled with passionate creativity and ageless knowing – but repressed for centuries by a value system that trivializes emotional truth, intuitive wisdom and instinctual self-confidence” *

Men and woman are never going to be ‘equal’, how can we be when we are so different? I am not fighting for ‘equality’ with men in this world as we know it. I am fighting to not have the Divine Feminine snatched from my soul by a patriarchal world.

If we buy into this culture we have been presented with, this unreality we are being shown, then we lose the woman within. To know her is to live simply, be with nature, to listen to yourself, to avoid what mainstream media is telling you a woman should be. How could they possibly know? Only a woman knows how to be the woman she is and the only place she will find that is by getting in touch with the wild woman within herself.. Not, from a copy of She of Marie Clare (other magazines are available)!

We as women have been divided from one another, we are fighting among ourselves in so many areas of life, and we have lost our natural way, our combined force and our true state of being.
If every single woman on the planet united together in consciousness of the true divine feminine … that combined force could actually heal this world.
Oh what a wonderful world that will be.

Blessed Be, fellow sisters, one and all xx


* Women who run with the wolves – Clarissa Pinkola Estes. A lexicon for the female psyche that every woman should read. I know it to be true for I dreamt of the Wolves long before the book found me. This book just confirms what every woman already knows deep within herself.